Friday, December 26, 2008

Huuh~
I realized that I never talk bout my anxiety of getting the SACE results or even the breakdown I’m facing after the results were out… Why??? Hmm, I always thought that it’s something that I somehow, had expected. So there’s no point of talking and writing bout it. But is keeping everything to yourself would be ok??? Pretend that it’s actually alrite and face everything with a strong smile would hide the sorrow???

I didn’t pass the TER for university placement… So does that make me a bad student? Does that show I didn’t give full effort to my studies? Does that reflect I’m not fit to be a doctor? Does that show I fail to fulfill my parent’s hope? I bet others who are in the same condition as me has all these questions swarming in their mind…

It’s hard to not let myself cry every time I talked to my mum, my lectures or my friends just to explain the situation rite now… But, honestly, those who are close to me knew how I felt and saw my tears streamed down my cheeks… Non-stop they would tell me to stop crying and pampered me, just to make sure the smile that glows on my face doesn’t fade away… So for them, I learned to hold back my tears and face everything with patience and bravery. I believe everyone has their own ups and downs so this is just another bump that made me fell on my journey to discover myself.

So here I am, writing in my blog, trying to cheer myself up while appreciating every single thing that I have. I was listening to one of Avril’s song, INNOCENCE, when this idea struck my mind… how grateful am I for having such life filled with all sorts of moments.

Once, I lost my first love, face distraught family and financial problem and of course typical stress in my studies... However, at the same time, I can always find joy with my friends, love from my family and happiness within my life. Such distinct emotion and sentiment could exist at the same time thus this made me realized that LIFE IS FAIR.

Ok, let me elaborate a bit bout my silly idea how I’m perfectly happy with my life now. On one side, I didn’t pass the entry requirement, not being able to be accepted to the universities in Australia and about to be separated with my boy friend. But on the other side, I’m currently in love with the guy that once wasn’t there for me, lovingly supported by my divorced parents and has a lot of friends who cares for me. So you see, it’s balanced. You can be very miserable at one point but showered with love at another. It took me a while to realize this. All these little things made my life perfect.

Yeah~ some might think that I’m living in my own world, saying that not being able to fly to Australia is okay… but again, I’m stressing that you need more than just your mind to see this crazy little idea or thoughts or whateva you may call. It needs courage, bravery, modesty and most of all perseverance. Try and read through the lyrics and see whether you could understand what I’m trying to say…

Waking up to see that everything is okay
The first time in my life and now it’s so great
Slowing down and looked around I’m so amazed
Think about the little things that make life great
I wouldn’t change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it would stay
This moment is perfect
Please don’t go away
I need you now
And I hold on to it
Don’t you let it pass you by…

I found a place so safe not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it’s so clear
Feel calm and belong, I’m so happy here
So strong and I let myself be sincere
I wouldn’t change a thing about it
This is the best feeling…

This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it would stay
This moment is perfect
Please don’t go away
I need you now
And I hold on to it
Don’t you let it pass you by

…..Think your dreaming
It’s the happiness inside that your feeling
It’s so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It’s so beautiful it makes you wanna cry….

This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it would stay
This moment is perfect
Please don’t go away
I need you now
And I hold on to it
Don’t you let it pass you by…

As I listen to the song over and over and over again, I slowly understand what it meant… At some point, you cannot blame life for being unfair… some may be luckier than us rite now, some maybe a little later but some may be in the future. What’s important is that cherished all the moments we are going thru rite now and make the best of it.

To my friends who are facing the same emotional roller coaster as me, keep yourself together and never give up as there will be a special moment for us. Even so not now… may be later or somewhere in the future. Try to reflect and ponder upon your life and see whether this little idea (where two distinct emotions or moments are happening at the same time) exists in your life. And if there is, then you know that, it is the perfect moment….

Thanked all those people who has been there for you, your parents, sibling, lovers, bf or gf, lectures and friends… whoever is there that has support you all this while. They might need a little more time to understand what we are going thru but we, who are facing it, understand better… so hold on tight and fight for ourselves. We are as good as everyone else… wishing every single of you gud luck and all the best…

p/s : I would like to take this chance to thank =

1. my beloved parents, who has been very supporting and understanding and importantly has believed in me not forgetting my two brothers…
2. my dearest azrul, for showering me with love, the one who has made me grew stronger, mature and be there when I cry and accept me for who I am…
3. my pet sister, kak shafina, who prepared me so that I’m ready to face all this challenges…
4. izulman, who always said that I’m more than what I am…
5. my best friend, syafiq, for being there when I’m down…
6. my girlfriends, you know better who you are, for giving me all the free hugs and comfort when I needed them…
7. my keluarga muhibah and classmates, for making my semesters in INTEC wonderful…
8. the SAMSA board, for being such a great team to work with…
9. my lectures, who never fail to guide me…
10. pn hazlillah, for being my idol and the one I always look up to, plus the advise and words of wisdom you gave to me…
11. jazli (for all your help and wonderful moments since we’re in primary school) ammar and darleen (my two best neighbours) and ariff (for ur non-stop jokes and innocent face)…
12. and for you who are reading my blog, I bet we once had moments together, may it be a simple and short one, but I’m glad to know you…

7:17 AM
FRIENDS F0REVER=)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Lee Kuan's Musings

You know, everyone will be going somewhere next year, be it in Malaysia or overseas. This is when i noticed that i can't do this anymore:

1. Watch anime for 18 hours a day (allocating 6 hours for other insignificant purposes such as sleep - sleep is important but during holidays, sleep is optional)

2 Downloading manga(comic) and anime at the same time (this means my computer also sleep 6 hours a day only)

3. Go out yumcha(loosely translated as 'drink tea') with my friends

4. Go shopping with mum because my mum needs an extra person to:

a)Carry stuff

b)when there's a sale, the maximum discounted item one person can buy is only one. Since there are two of us we can buy two! In fact, if my cousins, uncles, auntie, grandma etc are here in Teluk Intan, they are highly encouraged to follow too.

The thing is we can't possibly do this anymore next year since we will be busy with our studies, again. In addition, i have one more predicament.

I. can't. cook.

Seriously.

No matter where you go, it is good to assume that you will have to cook for yourself.

So my mum has been teaching me how to cook this holiday, without much success since i am totally helpless when it comes to practical skills.

Lesson 1: Fried Egg

It's not that i don't know how to fry egg, it's just that it is so ugly that when my father saw the end product, he immediately burst into laughter.

And my father is a calm and composed man.

You know, the traditional type.

And he bloody laughed at me.

Damn it, if like that i will be better off as a clown, i can even make the most emo person on earth laugh with the power of my fried egg.

Fortunately, it turns out quite okay now. You have no idea how many eggs i have used for this practice alone.

Lesson 2: Er...fried a lot of stuff you know stuff like sausages, chicken ham etc etc etc

hm..this is slightly better since i have so much practice with fried egg already. I still have this acute fear of OIL and FRYING PAN.

In fact,

I immediately ran away when my mum said ' it's time for you to learn how to fry fish'

I was like ' NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Frying fish is SCARYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY . The oil yeah!!! the oil!!!!

Something like that.

Lesson 3: Spaghetti

It was suprisingly not threatening since it doesn't involve that much oil.

Thank God!

Lesson 4: Fried rice

I don't know if anyone experience this. My hand actually hurts after frying rice.

i must be hibernating for so long that even the smallest movements will result in pain.

yes, that's right.

I have yet to learn how to churn out steamed stuff like steamed fish.

It seems so er, complicated. No, even simple stuff seems hard to me.

In conclusion, i am good at eating but bad at cooking.

Merry Christmas everyone!

8:35 PM
FRIENDS F0REVER=)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Today is the date my final result commenced. Just 7.30 a.m., I had a "morning call" by one of my friend, "Bla3 TER 98.7, Bla3 99.7, Bla3 92.0. How about you?" Damn (please allow me with this harsh word)! "I don't think I can fly, Bro!"

Lets take a look at my results, readers, before I proceed further.

Tertiary Entrance for Loh, Chuan Tuck
University Entrance

The Tertiary Entrance Rank (TER) indicates how well you have performed relative to others in the population, taking into account variations in student participation from year to year.

Tertiary Entrance Rank: 93.45

The TER is derived from the university aggregate, which is calculated by totaling the tertiary entrance points for your best four subjects and adding half the tertiary entrance points for your fifth best subject.

Individual tertiary institutions may award bonus points to aggregates for entrance to their courses. Any such bonus points are not shown here.

University Aggregate: 77.25

The aggregate was calculated from the Tertiary Entrance Points as follows:
2008: 2BIO2 18.0
2008: 2CHM2 17.5
2008: 2MSU2 17.0
2008: 2ESP2 16.5
2008: 2PHY2 16.5
Contribution: 8.25

TAFE Entrance

For TAFE courses that use a score based on performance in the SACE, the TAFE selection score is calculated by totaling the tertiary entrance points for your best three Stage 2 subjects. The total is then divided by 3 and reported in the score range 0-20 to one decimal place.

New TAFE Aggregate: 17.5

The aggregate was calculated from the Tertiary Entrance Points as follows:
2008: 2BIO2 18.0
2008: 2CHM2 17.5
2008: 2MSU2 17.0

All right, nothing makes sense? Tertiary Entrance Rank (TER) is the value I need to enter the universities in New Zealand. For your information, readers, for my course (Medicine) the minimum required TER is 96.0. As I only get 93.45, I am not qualified for the unconditional offer. So, I failed!

In fact, I was surprised when I see the numbers. How can my Mathematics Studies better than Physics? During course, Physics is always better than Maths, as my Maths usually scores just at the brink of fail and pass. Undisputedly, Biology is still my strongest subject (do not ask me why, maybe I actually qualified as a doctor, just kidding).

Inevitably, I bring disappointment to my Dad. I know he is so contradict in his head: I want my son to study as a doctor, but I think he is better to be here, in Malaysia. Now I have no choice but to stay in Malaysia, waiting for JPA (my sponsor) to allow to admit into IMU (International Medical University). My road? Wait and see.

If there is no road, let me be the pathfinder. Good luck, my friends! Remember, come back to Malaysia! We need you.

10:41 PM
FRIENDS F0REVER=)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Year 12 results are expected to be released during the week commencing 15 December. Office of SACE Board will confirm this in a media release at the beginning of that week.

SSABSA/ SACE's result is going to be announced someday next week, and I already freaked out! I cannot take the blow of being stopped in front of the gate of Otago University. Ah!

Wish best of luck to all of you, my friends!

6:00 PM
FRIENDS F0REVER=)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Merely extracted this from the extremely long post in my blog...

I miss you guys; those times we can sit around, teasing each other, chatting over random stuff, or even as we moan over assignments together... You guys made up the best class I've ever had; the only class I've ever been in so far who can stay united regardless of being pitched against each other in this tough course. Many people claim that AUSMAT is a very competitive course; every man for himself, but this definitely does NOT describe our class. On the contrary, we work together, help each other and have fun; even in the heat of exam stress. Yup, we're one happy family...^^

The fun and crazy members of the Alice Springs family

Formal Class Pic in the Intec Library

Outside the Library: Right Hand Palm Rule, everyone!!!

Remember the times we apent together? Taking crazy SS pictures in class...mixing fruit salad with our bare hands in laundry pails...KO-ing on the table in unison when any lecturer says "take five", celebrating Iqbar's surprise birthday in class...going to the washroom and defrosting together outside class...timing cafeteria outings to coincide with the availability of Fried Chicken...comparing and criticising the price of AUSMAT cafe's food...Jia Jeng calling Chi Hau "fan tong"...strolling together to the koperasi to buy Nescafe Latte...doing experiments and copying lab reports from one another...having animated discussions about all sorts of random topics in class...pakat-ing together to beg Chi Hau to cancel classes...cooperating with each other to ask questions during presentations...

Nope, we did not pakat to wear all blue. This was taken in the ALM Block

The Blues and the Reds: Alice Springs & Canberra, with some "intruders" from other classes...hehehe...kidding...

Defrosting outside our class. The class air-con is so ridiculously cold...

The fruit salad team during Entreprenuer's day.

Once any lecturer says "Take Five!!", more than half the class will KO immediately on the desk. See how mentally exhausted we all are?

Group Pic with our dear Physics lecturer. Remember how we played that April Fool trick on her? I still have the video...haha......

SS-ing during the last day of class.

No, we didn't pakat for this either. Somehow, so many people turned up in shades of pink/purple

Taken during Iqbar's birthday celebration: Identify the hands...

Speaking of assignments...flashback flashback...haha...there was the ESLS Investigation that we spent MONTHS on, doing Annotated Bibliography, Drafts, Tutorials, etc.....and there were the Bio Assignments; the Oral Presentation, during which each group had to go on field trips and present about them to the class.....haha, I can still remember my group's leg-amputation procedure we witnessed and displayed to the class.....and of course, who can forget the extremely THICK Bio Human Awareness Essay.....Chemistry SRT, the one that forced us to go back and forth to the UiTM Main Campus Library.....Physics Project, our final presentation.....and of course, not forgetting the CTU presentations that took up a HELL lot of time, but barely had any significance...

Bio Human Awareness Essay...the super thick one...

Oh, and the lab reports too...remember all the experiments we did in the lab? The leaf discs, all the titrations, the spectrometer (is that what its called??)...