oih hello. i know long since i post anything. its not that i dont remember any of u guys (which i do miss all the time) its just im so lazy to post anything. hee. how is everyone doing. seems like everybody is doing well (thru facebook) la. but well, there's of course the ups n downs in study. haish~ im pretty much doing ok in india. having fun as much as i could but most of the time struggling with the hectic schedule :) which is so not fun when u only have one day of weekend. well, im just dropping by to say that i really miss everyone so much n things have been so different witout u guys around. love lots, bella.
10:29 AM
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
BIOC192
Foundations of biochemistry
53
C-
HEAL192
Foundations of epidemiology
64
C+
HUBS192
Human body systems 2
68
B-
Above table shows my final exam results. I know it is ugly, but there should be no secret in this world. Besides, this is what I deserved after such hard work. Studying until late at night and cracking head for all those “crazy” questions (not all, but some) did not pass me to the 70 cut-off point intended. I know dad is very disappointed, and I may drag him down to this dark water (he is my guarantor), but I can do nothing to change.
Those 12A1’s during SPM are useless for life. I love biology and anatomy, just as my result shows (biology and anatomy is always highest mark I can get). I love it not because it is easy to study (it is among the hardest subjects for most), but biology is the only subject I can see and analyse. It is the subject that really open my mind and heart towards God.
There are a few “choices” available for me now, even though I already decided which path to walk down. I know I do not have, and will not have money to pay back Malaysian government. Then, I hope I will be permitted to continue my degree in Bachelor of Sciences – Anatomy and Structural Biology I guess. I do not want to talk about other paths, just to tell I will not back off or withdraw anyway.
To all my supporters, I apologise to disappoint you all. Please help me again, pray for me. Thank you all for being so supportive along the period.
5:57 AM
Friday, September 11, 2009
Nothing personal Loh.
Firstly, to put it so generally, that America treats all Muslims like terrorists because it does not understand Islam, is too much of an idealistic way to look at the situation when you think in terms of ways to implement practical and efficient security measures to safeguard your nation.
And to say those bastards with no regard for the lives and loves of others, are not Muslims, because they do not truly understand the religion, you yourself are conducting your thoughts in the same way as a Taliban village council member would. It is a convenient way to shrug these menaces to society by just saying, "Oh no...You guys got it wrong, we're not associated with them even though we fall under the same banner! Please don't clump me with them!". Unfortunately, who is to decide who's religion is which, if not the person embracing the faith himself. You have no right to say that what they believe in is wrong or a perversion of the truth, because if you do, so do they (which most already do because of their backward mentality – and I’m sure you wouldn’t want to lower yourself to thir standards). They carry out executions summarily, under the guise of a Muslim 'brother/sister' being a heretic, or having been diverted from the 'true path' of what is supposed to be believed.
You can say Muslims are not the only ones who commit atrocities - look at daily incidences of fathers, mothers, sons and daughters, husbands and wives, killing each other for various reasons incomprehensible. Or cases of serial killers who commit gruesome and despicable crimes, whether against minors or prostitutes.
The DIFFERENCE between the majority of those killers and majority of the Muslim terrorists is: Most of these killers (who are not diagnosed with some psychopathic tendencies anyway) DO NOT proclaim their work to have been done in the name of God. Sure you get the occasional “I heard the Voice of God and the divine chorus of angels whispering to me to slit her throat.”. But you don’t find many groups and agglomerations of people willing to commit murder indiscriminately even to the point of killing members from their own faith just to create some chaos or receive some political attention, who claim they are doing it in the name of God. Mainly, you find them in the current world, as Muslims. The Inquisition had its days, so did the Serbs, and the Crusades. But at this point in time this is what we have to deal with.
I cannot understand your rationale which runs in a roundabout concerning invasion:
When the World Trade Centre collapsed to ashes, nightmare not only haunted Americans, yet citizens in Middle East. Warfare civilians may ask, “Are we the ones that do wrong?” Since then, America treats Muslims like all are terrorist. America does not understand Islam. America is too arrogant in solving international tension. If invasion is allowed in country suspected with terrorism, why cannot other countries invade America? America thought they are civilised, but only barbarians love war.
First of all I really don’t think the mother and fathers, sisters and brothers in the doomed towers even had the chance to ask “Are we the ones that do wrong?”. It is easy to blur the lines between Bush’s vested interests in Iraq that ran through from Bush Sr.’s days, and Bin Laden’s tailor-made nightmare. The war in Iraq has nothing to do with 9/11.
For one thing, it is easy to see how 2 shitty terms of the Bush administration has left a bitter taste due to pursuing the War in Iraq which had at best, shaky foundations and vested interests from generations past. But are you saying that America is comparable to Pakistan, which is festering with small isolated religious madrasahs – some of which serve as centers for the propagation of extremism and the induction into fanatical groups - teaching young boys that violence against women and creating terror worldwide is condoned by obscure and highly selective religious texts? That Pakistan should have the right to say we are invading you because you are suspected of terrorism? Yeah, I’ll bet, the one thing Pakistan should know best about is terrorism itself.
To say that only barbarians love war, I find that to be an extremely fun idea actually. Are you again passing judgement that America loved war but no one else did? Everyone else was just inadvertently and unwillingly ‘pushed’ into a war they didn’t wanna participate in? You’ll have to remind yourself that your Greats in the history books: Khaled al-Walid, Muhammad, Saladin. They all participated in wars. And quite successfully, I might add, does that increase their degree of barbarism due to their victories in a clearly barbaric practice? A lot of massive wars have been fought on the basis of nothing more than religious ideals. My god says this and is bigger and better than yours, you say the same about yours – neither one of us is willing to submit. BOOM!! One way or another. Holy war, genocide, feuds that last for generations, individual prejudices. Some shit is bound to hit the fan.
And somehow, I still don’t think that the solution to solve terrorism would fall in our laps after all CIA and Customs officials read and understood the Koran thoroughly and even converted to Islam. If you yourself understand Islam so well, tell us how you plan to solve in problem of global terrorism. How does that religious knowledge give you the insight to pick out who amongst the throngs in the airports will decide to carry a bomb or hijack the cockpit in the name of Allah?
And you say: There was once, a few Malaysians being stopped at America’s custom, due to the “bin” within their names. That shows how ignorant America is. Do not try to be a hero, if you do not know the truth, Uncle Sam!
What IS the truth, exactly? That people – seemingly normal as you and I - who have been educated in prestigious institutions within the United Kingdom, who have had millions in their bank accounts, who have led normal lives under the radar up to now, suddenly pop up from a flying school and hijack an aircraft for political weight? That it’s actually very easy to spot a terrorist? That only those with turbans, carrying a goat with them, walking in robes and sandals, bad teeth and bearded, should be the targeted suspects due to their disgruntled attitude to life? That those who could afford an education in the developed nations should never be included in the possible list of suspects who would be willing to commit mass murder? As you can see from the case Muhammad Atta and Co., and also the growing number of religious fanatics, extremism doesn’t afflict only a typical species of people. As I see it, the customs officials are merely doing profiling based on traits and groupings, in order to reduce the chances of being attacked. Sure it is tough in airports, but if you were in charge of security in your nation, what measures would you carry out? To be just and fair to everyone, and withhold all passengers for thorough luggage and background checks, till air traffic is at a standstill and so is the nation’s economy? The truth is, at this point in time, people under the label of ‘Muslims’, misguided or wrongly informed as they may be, are taking the spotlight on themselves as senseless mass murderers who have no other justification other than doing it “in the name of God”. Not I needed her life insurance, not I couldn’t take care of them any longer, not I was sick and tired of his abuse, not I wanted him to pay for what he did, not that’ll show them not to fire me, not even she had it coming to her a long time ago.
You also claim: There is always an issue floating in the air of Islamic countries. Islamic countries should unite, as humans, specifically Muslims are in the same ummah. Muslims should show by action, that Islam is a peaceful religion, and real Muslims are not terrorist!
The only problem is, when Muslim countries unite, they adopt a “them against us” stance against the Western or non-Islamic nations. They try to unite, against the rest of the world, because the rest are all wrong, and the Islamic countries have more right and also the divine justification to decide how the world should be run. They have their own conferences, condemning the way Western nations run, using twisted logic to explain how developed nations don’t ‘truly’ have democracy or justice. How the Islamic world is being ‘encroached’ upon and their existence threatened. They unite but only to drive themselves further backwards into isolation from the rest of the global society and economy, because they are unable to accept that people who do not live lifestyles such as theirs have an equal right to freedom of choice as they do.
People should just embrace their religion, get their peace of mind that it provides them, and, to put it mildly (excuse the language): Shut The Fuck Up. You don’t have to meddle with what others believe in what they choose to do in life with respect to your religious principals.
Because once you start policing others based on their religious choices and lifestyles, everyone else has a right to do so. You start condemning someone for drinking, having pre-marital sex, not fasting - you are giving everyone else the right to also carry out religious or moral policing. Everyone accuses America of being the "World's Policeman". Noone accuses religious zealots of being "Humanity's Policeman". These narrow-minded people who have had their traditions, of oppression of women or suppression of basic rights to select castes or groups, so deeply entrenched within their culture that they are not willing to give it up even if it means putting family members at equal standing with equal rights (e.g. to have the freedom to choose their spouse). They start to merge everything within their lives into an amalgamation of The Epitome Of The Good And Righteous Life – the way things are supposed to be for everyone. They merge religion into governance of society. They feel that because they are part of a monotheistic religion that reinforces the notion that it and only it is the right path to salvation and eternal happiness, that they have the divine right to stand on the moral high ground and pronounce what should and shouldn’t be, what is wrong and what is not, with the rest of the world -which might or might not have a rat's ass to give about your faith.
Religion is no longer a system of faith and belief, it is now a weapon and tool used to create fear and submission to authority. If you go against me, you are going against the Big Guy up there, hah, tremble and cower in fear of me. Listen and do as I say, for the Big Guy is on my side, not everyone’s, just mine. Because I have a crest here see? It shows that I have more authority to speak on behalf of God than you puny mites do.
Freedom to worship does not only apply to those worshipping something, it applies to the freedom to not worship something. Please keep that in mind before dropping little gems on what people should and shouldn't do with their personal lives.
Well not you Loh, but I'm pissed off with these people who think that meddling with other people's affairs with Heaven and Hell will somehow score them more points to go to Heaven. You go to Heaven by managing your own life, not other people's.
12:34 AM
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Lots of people around the world still remember the sad moments started today (of course not 2009, but eight years ago). When the World Trade Centre collapsed to ashes, nightmare not only haunted Americans, yet citizens in Middle East. Warfare civilians may ask, “Are we the ones that do wrong?”
Since then, America treats Muslims like all are terrorist. America does not understand Islam. America is too arrogant in solving international tension. If invasion is allowed in country suspected with terrorism, why cannot other countries invade America? America thought they are civilised, but only barbarians love war. Am I right?
There was once, a few Malaysians being stopped at America’s custom, due to the “bin” within their names. That shows how ignorant America is. Do not try to be a hero, if you do not know the truth, Uncle Sam!
There is always an issue floating in the air of Islamic countries. Islamic countries should unite, as humans, specifically Muslims are in the same ummah. Muslims should show by action, that Islam is a peaceful religion, and real Muslims are not terrorist!
I am wondering, will America invade Malaysia or Indonesia someday? Lets think about it, on this 11th of September.
**Sky in Dunedin turns grey after few sunny days. Tomorrow is Biochemistry term test, which will kill me.
7:58 PM
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
After my Photoshop CS2 corrupted, I decided to find a newer version of Adobe Photoshop. I need this software to assist me in designing Blog promoting banner and some other web-related images. I feel so comfortable using this software, and it is my pleasure to share with my readers.
As I feel redundant to copy all the features of Ps CS4 into my Blog, I attached the official link to Adobe’s homepage:
Of course, I mean share, so I will not forget to give my dearest readers the download link (this is a Mandarin page, but I am sure you know how to click, as the official page needs registration):
Enjoy this great software! Feel free to write credit in my comment.
6:48 PM
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Cartoon is almost a certain memory for every little kid. My favourite of all time is the “Lion King”. Yet, today I am not going to touch about “my cartoon”.
Let’s have a watch in this cool animation.
You may not understand it, but you may feel there are always some hidden meanings.
Two weeks ago, my friend suggested to me “Happy Tree Friends”. I knew this show long ago (famous what?), but I never got to touch it. Once I watched the show on YouTube, I found that the producer(s) are freaking sick!
Do you ever been in the Haunted Mansion in most of the Fun Fair? Sometimes it can be scary of some hidden hands, but it can never, ever peel your body parts off, am I right? How can a Haunted Mansion looks like a human slaughterhouse with so bloody scenes?! Any kid that watched the show may feel that world is always bloody, everywhere at anytime!
I feel creepy in myself, even though I am used to bloody body parts (sometimes it can still be scary though). I always assume that media producers know the responsibility to educate and entertain people of all groups, but Happy Tree Friends is indeed a series for sicko, not for kids! I do not know what memory will have in our kids nowadays, and in the future! Imagine, one day in 2020, cartoons featuring Blue Stuffs, Batman eating Cat woman out! WTH!
I cannot “Tahan (endure in Malay)” anymore. Yet I suggested my readers to watch animation from Aniboom in YouTube, they are all of high quality, I guarantee.
3:36 PM
Monday, June 15, 2009
I am now in the middle of exam period. I slept at four this morning, then woke up at nine. It is my habit to look outside the window once I open my eyes. Yet, this morning, my adrenaline shot up when I looked out the small window near my bed.
IT SNOWS!
This is the first time in my life I see snow with my own eyes, even though snow is common in movies. I immediately woke my flatmate and surprised him. I can see a few of my other Malaysian friends playing with snow outside my flatmate's window.
All right, snow flakes are still flying down from kilometres high. Now I need to get back to my Chemistry. Stay tuned!
I know dad is very disappointed, and I may drag him down to this dark water (he is my guarantor), but I can do nothing to change. 
